As a college parent, you experience a changing relationship with your college student once they head off to college. During their growing years, you have functioned as caretaker, worrying and working to make sure that all has gone as well as possible in many areas of their life. Once your student goes to college, you will have less contact with their everyday life. This doesn’t mean that you will necessarily have less communication with them. Conversations change from “Where are you going?”, “When will you be home?” and “You need to pick up your shoes,” to more interesting and potentially more meaningful topics.
Most of us value our conversations and discussions with our college students. We want to know how their lives are unfolding, what they are thinking and feeling, and we want to share our thoughts with them. Chances are that our students want the same thing – even if they don’t always admit it. However, even with our best of intentions, there are two conversational habits which are what Rebecca Shafir in her book The Zen of Listening calls “listening stoppers”. We probably don’t even realize that we are doing these things.
Take some time to consider whether you might be guilty of either of these habits.
