Your Student in Difficulty

How to Tackle Tough Conversations with Your College Student

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There are many reasons you might need to have a difficult conversation with your college student, and the middle or end of the year is often a time when that conversation needs to happen.  It might have to do with a poor semester academically, poor social decisions, financial issues, or many other possible situations.  Whatever the topic, chances are that you probably dread the conversation.  It’s important, it’s necessary, but you know that there are so many ways that it could go badly.

There is no getting around the fact that the conversation is probably going to be uncomfortable, but there are a few things that you can do to help it go more smoothly and to help both you and your student be more comfortable with the outcome.  Before you sit down to have that tough conversation with your student, consider a few things.

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Your College Student’s Senioritis: Recognizing and Addressing It

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This is the second of two posts about the senioritis sometimes experienced by college seniors.  In our first post we looked at some of the roots or causes of your student’s feelings.  In this post, we’ll consider what this senioritis may look like and how you, as a parent, might help your student cope.

In many ways, although the causes may differ, college senioritis may look very similar to high school senioritis.  Your usually motivated student suddenly loses interest in his coursework, missing classes and deadlines for assignments.  He doesn’t seem to care about his work and only puts forth a partial effort.  His grades are in jeopardy of slipping and he doesn’t seem to care.

Although it is possible that this may be due to ”school fatigue” after sixteen or more years of school, we discussed in our last post several other possible causes.  These causes may lead to other symptoms that indicate that your student is a victim of senioritis.

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Is Your College Senior Suffering from Senioritis? 13 Reasons Why It May Not Be What You Think

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This is the first of two posts about the senioritis sometimes experienced by college seniors.  In this post we look at some of the roots or causes of your student’s feelings.  In our next post, we’ll consider what this senioritis may look like and how you, as a parent, might help your student cope.

We hear a lot about senioritis and high school seniors.  It’s that apathy and lack of motivation that hits in the latter part of their senior year when they’ve been accepted to college and they let their guard down and struggle to keep their grades up and stay focused on school.  Severe senioritis in that last year of high school could even result in having a college rescind a student’s admission, so it can be a serious ailment.

We hear less about senioritis during the last year of college, but it exists.  Often, it looks much like high school senioritis.  Your student has been in school now for sixteen or more years, and he is tired of being a student, loses focus and motivation, skips classes, does poorly on assignments, and generally appears unengaged.

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When Your College Student Is Struggling Or In Trouble

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You send your college student off to college with high hopes.  It was a long road of applications, SATs, essays, and finally decision making.  You and your college student have survived and now you are ready to sit back and watch him thrive in the environment that he chose.

Suddenly, things are not going as planned.  Your student is struggling and having difficulty.  Your student may or may not be sharing details with you, but you sense that something is wrong.  You feel completely helpless, and you want to help.  This is every college parent’s nightmare.

Your student may be struggling for any number of reasons — from lack of preparedness, lack of motivation, lack of perseverance, too much partying, mental or emotional difficulties, or just plain homesickness.  Whatever the reason, you’re at a loss for where to turn.

Here at College Parent Central, we want to help you navigate all of the phases of college parenting, and for many families that includes navigating the dark waters of a student in trouble.

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Three Essential Elements of College Parental Support

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As college parents, we want to support our college students.  However, defining that support is sometimes more difficult than it seems.  Each school is different.  Each parent is different. Each student is different and may take a different path.  Some students need more support than others at different times during their college career.  As a parent, how do you know how best to help your student?

You will, of course, need to find your own way, but there are three essential elements that might provide the foundation of any plan to help your student.  Start with these.  Think about what they look like for you — and for your family.  Then let your plan build from there.

Insist on honesty

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you expect your college student to share every detail of their daily life with you.  There are probably some things you’d rather not know.  It does mean, however, that you expect your student to be honest — about the reality of their progress in all of its potentially ugly details. If they’re failing a class, they need to let you know.  If they are on probation, they need to tell you.  If they’ve gotten into some kind of trouble, they need to share that with you.  If their credit card is maxed out, they might ask for advice about how to deal with it.

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How to Support Your Student Who May Be Taking a Break from College

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Fewer students than ever are taking the direct path from high school into college with graduation in four years from the same institution.  Students defer enrollment, take a gap year before starting, take a gap year during college, transfer, stop out, or simply do not finish.  Some college officials refer to this process of student movement as ”swirling.”

Although the majority of students still enter college and remain until they graduate in four or five years, some students decide to take a break from school at some point.  For some students, this is a thoughtful decision.  Other students may not have a choice as they do not succeed and are dismissed, or have health, financial, or family issues that force them to stop out for a while.

If your student is one of those who may be taking some time away from school, you may have questions and concerns.  You and your student will need to discuss these concerns, as well as your student’s reasons and plans for using this time away.

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Academically Dismissed from College? Time for a Reset

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Your student headed off to college with a bit of trepidation, but with high hopes.  You were excited and had visions of Commencement down the road.  Neither of you anticipated your student struggling and ultimately being dismissed.  But it happens.  It happens more often than most parents imagine.  Our most popular post is our earlier What to Do If Your Student Is Academically Dismissed from College.  This post has also received more comments than any other post on College Parent Central.  That means academic dismissal is on the minds and hearts of a lot of parents and students.

This is the first of two additional posts about academic dismissal.  We recommend our earlier post as well.  In this post we’ll address some of the causes and concerns that students and parents have around dismissal.  In our next post, we suggest some things to consider as you and your student move forward.

Feeling Lost

There is a common theme to comments on our earlier dismissal post.  Students and their parents feel lost, helpless, and overwhelmed.  One student said, ”This whole thing has been giving me nightmares.”  Still another desperately said, ”Would someone please help me?” Students and parents may or may not have seen this coming, but the final word feels like a virtual punch in the stomach.

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What is a “Satisfactory Academic Progress” Policy for Financial Aid?

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Have you heard the term ”Satisfactory Academic Progress” or SAP? SAP pertains to financial aid eligibility and discussions of the policy are a result of federal regulations incorporated into the Higher Education Opportunity Act of 2008, which require students to be making Satisfactory Academic Progress in order to continue to receive federal financial aid.  This federal aid includes all Direct Student Loans, Pell Grants, Federal Work Study, Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grants, Perkins Loans and Parent PLUS Loans.

Changes to this regulation are designed to prevent students from indefinitely continuing to receive federal aid and to ensure “program integrity.” Essentially, it is intended to prevent a school from allowing your student to continue to accumulate debt while not making adequate progress toward the finish line.

The primary change to this law is a no tolerance policy which no longer allows for an automatic warning period with continuation of aid.  In other words, at many institutions in the past, students who failed to meet SAP policy standards were granted an automatic grace period during which time they could work towards returning to good standing while still receiving aid.  New regulations require that students who fail to make Satisfactory Academic Progress automatically lose their aid immediately.

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Should My College Student Withdraw From College?

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Your college student headed off to college with high hopes and aspirations.  They may have given it their best effort and something interfered, or they may not have understood what was going to be required.  Or it is possible that something totally unexpected has interrupted your student’s momentum.  Whatever the reason, it is possible that your student is now struggling and wondering what to do next.

Your student may be considering withdrawing from college — not at the end of a semester, but now, part way into a term.  You may be wondering whether they have options, and whether the choice to withdraw is the best decision.  It is not an easy question to answer.  You and your student should have some frank talk about their reasons and about the implications of their decisions.  We’d like to give you some food for thought — and for discussion.  You and your student will need to consider your student’s reasons for wanting to withdraw (or your reasons for wanting them to withdraw), some pros and some cons, and finally, some important things you’ll need to investigate and consider.

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Mid-semester: Time For Your College Student to Re-evaluate

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Mid-Semester.  It’s a time of stress for college students.  It is also a time when your student can both look backward and look forward.  A lot has happened in the first half of the semester, but there is also an entire second half to either build on the successes of the first half or turn things around.

As a college parent, you may or may not know exactly what your student’s situation is.  They may or may not share their midterm grades, concerns, or behaviors with you.  This is a good time to ask some important questions and to do a lot of listening — not just to the words, but to the messages between the lines.  All of your communication skills will come in handy.

This is often a time of decisions for students.  How do I build on what I’ve learned?  How can I change direction?  Should I move on or take a break?

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