Sometimes, just knowing isn’t enough. How many of us know we need to get more sleep, eat more healthy food, or get more exercise? That doesn’t mean we get those things done. We know, but we don’t do.
College students are no different. Knowing something doesn’t mean they act on what they know. They know they should get more sleep, but most don’t. They may know they should study more, but they find other things to do with their time. They may even know they spend too much time on their screens, but they can’t pull themselves away. No surprises here.
Is there a problem?
When it comes to college resources, the supports that colleges provide, there’s a disconnect.
As colleges work harder to help students succeed and thrive, they create more and more resources – tutoring centers, writing centers, speaking centers, health centers, mental health counselors, advising centers, career centers. The list is long. And most colleges have launched aggressive campaigns to make sure students know about all of the resources available to them. But many of these resources are underutilized on campus after campus.
So, many colleges have launched aggressive campaigns, at orientations and through communications to make sure parents know about all of the resources available so they can guide and encourage their students to make use of them. Still underutilized.
Many institutions have suggested that “students are largely unaware of resources available” and they have doubled down on getting the word out to students – and to parents. But that may not be enough.
Knowing may not be enough.
What can help? Perhaps we need to work harder at helping students learn to be proactive about their learning, to establish a culture of independent learning, curiosity, and taking control of their own learning. It’s not that they don’t know about the services available, they don’t see how these services will help.
What does it mean to be proactive?
Being proactive is a mindset, a way of thinking and a way of acting. It means taking ownership of your own learning and embracing personal agency, taking responsibility for directing your life. Stephen Covey discusses the importance of this quality in his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Being proactive means making things happen rather than waiting to respond. It means looking ahead and acting in anticipation of future problems, preparing for situation ahead of time and then taking action today to make tomorrow better.
Being reactive, on the other hand, is allowing circumstances to control you, only taking action when it is absolutely required and responding to problems that can’t be avoided. When students wait until they are struggling or failing before doing anything, they are reacting to circumstances. Parents may point them to resources, but students probably already know about those resources, and it may be too late.
We need to help our students learn how to be proactive, to look ahead and take control rather than waiting to respond to trouble.
How can students become more proactive?
Becoming proactive rather than reactive is a shift from high school, where teachers recognized when students needed help and then provided it. Being responsible for your own learning, anticipating what’s ahead and what you need and then taking independent action, is new for many students. Parents can help students make this transition by helping them think about what this new mindset may look like.
How can parents help? Talk to your student. Talk early. Talk often. The process of becoming more proactive involves self-reflection, goal setting, and action plans to reach those goals.
What does a proactive student do?
- Recognize your learning as active, not passive. Know what you want to learn and chase after it.
- Work on things you can do something about. There’s always something you can do – even if it seems small.
- Engage with your learning. Find your hook. What draws you in? What can you find, even in those classes that are required and seem irrelevant, that will motivate you?
- Look ahead – down the road. Think long term. What are the challenges you might face? Think about what you can do now to anticipate and tackle those challenges.
- Create your own high expectations for yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you what you should do. What do you want for yourself?
- When problems arise, take initiative. Actively look for solutions. Dive in and take action immediately. Take a different approach. Ask for feedback. Get help.
- Seek opportunities for improvement early. Know what you can improve and look for ways you can do it. Don’t wait to be told where your weaknesses are. Take action without being prompted so you can prevent trouble from happening.
- Anticipate some likely scenarios and make plans for them. They may not happen, but you’ll be ready.
- Take responsibility for your learning. Don’t explain problems away with reasons why someone else is responsible. It doesn’t matter whether something is someone else’s fault, the problem is now yours. Take responsibility for it and do something about it.
- Practice self-advocacy. Know what you need and go after it.
- Words matter. Use phrases like “I can” and “I get to” rather than “I can’t” or “I need to.” Focus on the possibilities rather than necessities and a “how” rather than “why” mentality. Change your mindset by changing your words.
What can parents do?
It’s fine to say “talk to your student,” but what do you talk about? What can parents actually do to help their student make this essential mental shift?
- Recognize that becoming more proactive is a skill that needs to be learned – and practiced. Your student will need to develop and build up their proactive muscle through practice.
- Ask questions to help your student reflect on what is, or is not, working right now. What are your biggest long-term goals? Do your day-to-day decisions align with your goals? What things are working and what are not? What is one thing you can do to take a step closer to your goals?
- Highlight the benefits of proactivity for your student. Help them think about how this might change things for the better.
- Remind your student that being independent doesn’t mean going it alone. Being independent means making your own choices – and one wise choice is to seek help and advice when it is needed.
- Help your student have the confidence to take the first steps. It can be difficult for some students to initiate conversations with professors, to walk into a tutoring center or mental health center. Get specific about how to start conversations, how to explain what they need, and how to take these first steps.
Does this matter?
The short answer is, yes!
Becoming a proactive student can be a challenging task. We are asking students to engage in a new way of thinking as they take on the responsibility for their own learning and look into the future to anticipate what they need and to go after it. But your student will experience less stress and a greater sense of self-control. There are no guarantees, of course, that anything will solve all problems, but it can reduce those problems.
Actively engaged students do better in school, and what better way to engage than by taking control, feeling empowered, and being in charge of your life.
It’s important to know about the resources available, but you need to know when and how to use them and why they matter to you. As your student becomes more and more proactive, you won’t need to encourage them to use the resources available, they’ll be way ahead of you!
Related articles:
Helping Your Student with Goal-Setting – and Action Plans
