Once your student makes their final college decision and puts down that important deposit, they enter a new leg of the college journey. Sure, you know there will be lots of preparation work ahead – summer decisions, shopping, good-byes, packing – but your student may be thinking they’ll really become a college student at Move-in Day in the fall. Your student may still be a high school student, but the college knows there’s work to be done now. In this episode, Sarah and Vicki talk about your student’s strange mental place with one foot in each world and why it’s important for your student to begin to connect with the college soon after depositing. The work of being a college student starts now, in early summer, and Sarah and Vicki explain why and share what students, and their parents, should expect and why it matters.
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Our topic for this episode came from a parent question about what to do once your student has been accepted to college, made their decision and made their deposit. It can feel as though everything you’ve been so busy doing as part of the admission process comes to a halt. What’s next?
It’s a tough time because students are still in high school but the college needs your student to start doing some important tasks to get ready for their fall semester. Students need to start checking their official college e-mail for important time-sensitive information. (Parents, don’t ask your student to share their passwords so you can check up on what information their receive!)
Because Sarah not only works with incoming students during the summer but also has one son in college and another heading to college in the fall, she has first-hand experience with what can be important during this summer before college.
We also mentioned three earlier episodes that are all about getting ready during this transition summer.
#043 – Using Summer to Help Your Student Prepare for College – Part 1
#044 – Summer Conversations to Help Your Student Prepare for College — Part 2
#045 – Transitioning from Summer to College: The Importance of the First Six Weeks – Part 3
Some of the other topics we touch on include the importance of placement tests, what happens with AP tests and results, advising and/or housing surveys, reaching out to the college with questions over the summer, and the importance of orientation for both students and parents.
We also shared some information about important health and safety forms that parents and students should consider such as HIPPA release and Medical Power of Attorney or Health Care Proxy. One good place to find more information about this is mamabearlegalforms.com.
Don’t forget that you can listen to all of our previous podcast episodes here or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also go to followthepodcast.com/collegeparentcentral to add our podcast (it’s free!) so that you’ll receive each new episode as we release it.
Let us know what you’d like to hear about on future podcasts! Leave a comment below or email us at podcast@collegeparentcentral.com.
Related articles:
Summer Homework for College Parents
Summer Before College a Summer of Decisions: Academic Decisions
Summer Before College a Summer of Decisions: Student Life Decisions
Transcript:
Announcer: 0:10
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You’ll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts as they share support and a celebration of the amazing child in college.
Vicki Nelson: 0:47
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. This is where we talk about all sorts of things that have to do with having a college student, having a student thinking about college, having a student heading to college and sometimes students who are stepping out of college and graduating. So we try to cover it all to help parents think about how they can help their students and how we can all survive that phase of our lives. My name is Vicki Nelson and I am a college professor of communication, so I see students every day and I see what works and what doesn’t work. I also am the parent of three daughters who have all gone to college and who have all graduated from college, so I have actually lived this experience and I love bringing both of those perspectives to these conversations. And I am here today with another one of our co hosts, Sarah Shane, and I’m going to let her introduce herself.
Sarah Shane: 1:58
Sure, thank you. So I’m Sarah Shane. I’m the director of the Office of Advising and Academic Success at a small liberal arts college, and then I also have two sons, one who is a junior in college and one who is a senior in high school, which is proving to have some very interesting challenges with the FAFSA and everything else this year. But that’s another conversation. But this is definitely a great time of year to talk about. You know some of the topics we’re going to bring up today, so I’m looking forward to the conversation.
Vicki Nelson: 2:33
Yeah, so am I. You know, I’m realizing it. I reflect back on on what I remember, and you are right in the middle of it, right now?
So it is all very fresh for you as well. As you know, in your advising job you work a lot with the new students who are coming in, so you’re really seeing that. So yeah, and we wanted to look at the summer and really this topic came from a question that we got from a parent who wrote and said, we got through all the admissions stuff and now my student has been accepted and my student has made their decision and we’ve made the deposit. Now what do we do? You know, there is such a buildup to this moment of making, applying and making the decision, and then suddenly you know what’s next and there’s a flurry of preparation over the summer.
Vicki Nelson: 3:44
You know, there are certain things that I think everybody’s aware of. You’ve got to go shopping, and then you’ve got to go shopping some more and you’ve got to furnish this dorm room and do all of those things. And there are some decisions and appointments and maybe some packing, although it usually doesn’t happen until about the night before, when they’re stuffing all kinds of things into a trash bag to take with them. But this is a summer when students kind of have one foot still in high school and one foot in college and they really think of college beginning on move-in day, and that doesn’t happen until the end of the summer and there’s a long summer in between, so there are things that students need to do and need to think of earlier than move-in day in terms of college. So, Sarah, I know you kind of lived this experience of what they need to do early in the semester.
Sarah Shane: 4:48
Yeah, sure, in the summer. Yeah, no, no, so definitely. So there’s a number of things and you know the list can start to feel a little overwhelming, but I think the main thing is to definitely have your student keep your eye on the college’s email address, so not their personal email account, because after the student is accepted and they’ve been deposited, the only office for the most part who emails a student on their personal account is the admission office. And once a student deposits and they’ve become, which makes them an official student, the rest of the college has to email them for FERPA reasons, which is another conversation, but to make sure they are reaching out to the student and the student only they have to reach out to the student on their specific college email address. So that’s not something students, I think, are aware of initially and they will get so much information sent to that email account and if they’re just looking at their personal one, they won’t see any of those emails. So they want to make sure to check that at least weekly. You know they can have it. They can put it on their phone too, you know, the same way they do with their other, so it’s easy to check. But there’s a lot of time, sensitive information, that will be emailed to them. So it’s excellent if they can start getting in the habit of checking that at least weekly, because there’s a number of activities that need to happen in order for the student to be prepared for. You know again, as, as you’re saying, Vicki, they kind of think be prepared for. You know again, as as you’re saying, Vicki, they kind of think of it in August. You know, certainly a move in day, but, you know, by August they think of themselves as college students, because they’re not preparing to go back to high school anymore.
But there’s so much stuff that the college has to do for them before they get there, in terms of their schedule, in terms of making sure they’ve submitted their health forms, in terms of making sure they’ve submitted their health forms, in terms of making sure they’ve done all their online modules, which are a number of different things which we’ll talk about coming up. But it’s just so important that the students pay attention to that email and really try to spend, whatever it is, a half an hour, even a week, just allotting time to read those emails and do what needs to be done, because there’ll be some things, for example, you know the health form info. Maybe that may not be due till July 1st. Of course it’s different at every school, but what that information entails it’s I know.
Sarah Shane: 7:16
I have again college students and high school students. When they go to do it the night before, that’s not going to work because the doctor will have needed to sign something. The student will most likely almost definitely have to have gotten certain vaccines. So that has to be scheduled ahead of time. So that’s a good thing to put on your calendar in May.
To you know, have them schedule their doctor’s appointment and you know it would be great if along you know when they schedule the appointment. They then remember to go back into their email or you know whatever information the admission office has sent to them. But it will have a link to the health forms they need. So they want to make sure to bring those with them when they go to the doctor’s appointment. But doctors book up quickly over the summer, especially because of college student stuff and student and you know younger children go into camp and needing those camp forms. So it’s a funny time that’s very busy in doctor’s offices that students don’t necessarily realize. But you can’t start without those forms done so making an appointment in May or June would be so huge it’s huge it really is.
Vicki Nelson: 8:17
You know, Sarah, there are two things in what you just said that I think are really important. I think are really important, and one I’m really glad you thought of reminding students that they need to switch to checking their school email, because that’s where the information is going. And one thing I would say and I say over and over people who listen to the podcast before you’ve heard it many times the student should be checking their email. The parent should not. Don’t ask your student for their password.
Sarah Shane: 8:52
Nope, definitely not.
Vicki Nelson: 8:54
They need to start now to take ownership. You may need to nudge them, you may need to remind them for a while. Have you checked your school email? Have you checked your school email? You need to do that, and sometimes, you know, it just feels as though it’d be so much easier if I just get their passwords and then I’ll log onto their portal and I’ll log onto their email and I can keep track, because I don’t, you know, I’m afraid my student won’t, but that really is not the way to go first of all, it’s a recipe after this after this, you know, first, flurry of information.
Vicki Nelson: 9:30
You don’t want to know half of what’s in your student’s email, it’s just as well, but, um, that’s, that’s really important. And then this, the second thing, you you know, talking about the doctor’s appointments, which is which is really I hadn’t put two and two together about all the camp kids who also need appointments now, but it really, if you don’t already do this, this is a really good opportunity to say to your student you need to make this appointment.
Vicki Nelson: 10:01
I’m not going to call the doctor and make the appointment for you, but you know you need to call the doctor. You need to make an appointment. Maybe you need to forward to the doctor’s office what those forms are, but you need to do that so that your student gets used to calling a doctor’s office. They’re going to have to call the health center when they’re on campus if they get sick. If they have to do one last dentist appointment before they go, have them make the appointment. So have them do some of those things. These are all those things that are going to get students in a really good position.
Sarah Shane: 10:31
And it’s helpful too, and to add to what you’re saying in terms of having the student make the appointments and you know talking about your you know with your student ahead of time. So make sure, write this down, ask the you know when you’re making the appointment, tell them you have these health forms to fill out. Do they want you to email them to them ahead of time or just bring them that day? Do you you know how much time would the appointment need, because you know you’ll probably need vaccinations? Like, have the student ask all that so they get in the mindset of thinking about it and they’re more likely to bring the forms with them that day because they were invested in the conversation initially with a you know the nurse or their medical assistant said, no, definitely bring them with you. So they’re more likely to remember when someone else tells them than when you tell them.
Vicki Nelson: 11:13eah, you might want to remind them when they make the appointment, to put that appointment in their calendar in their phone and set an alarm. So that is also helping them remember. Once they get to college and they make an appointment with a professor or something else that they have to be at, put it in their phone, put an alarm and then they’re responsible for remembering that appointment.
Sarah Shane: 11:43
That’s so important.
Vicki Nelson: 11:44
It’s a really scary time for parents to let go of some of those things.
Sarah Shane: 11:48
No, but I appreciate you saying that in terms of setting the alarm and putting it in their phone, because I can’t tell you how many times students miss appointments in our office.
Sarah Shane: 11:55
They miss appointments with you all as a faculty. They miss appointments all over the place because they think they’re going to remember, because they’ve you know, quote remembered enough to get them through high school and they think they’re on top remember because they’ve you know, quote remembered enough to get them through high school and they think they’re on top of it. But you know, as any busy parent or busy person working knows, you have a million things going on. You have to write them down. It’s so easy to forget. So getting them into that mindset that this is what I need to do every single time I make an appointment will just make their lives so much easier when they get to college, because so much and this is again a different topic for another time but so much of their success is based on time management and any strategies we can start really teaching them from. You know now, until we send them out the door, it makes a huge difference.
Vicki Nelson: 12:39
Yeah, and, and we’ve, we actually have some earlier podcasts. If, if this is, you know, sparking some thoughts and you’re saying, ooh, what else should I be thinking about? If you want to look back, episodes 43, 44, and 45 are all about things to do in the summer to help your student get ready for college.
This is a really strange summer, and I mentioned it earlier and I just want to reinforce that a little bit, and then we can look at some of those very specific things that students need to do early, often, very early in the summer, sometimes while they’re still in high school. But I think of this as a sort of a crossroads summer. They’re sort of at the intersection of no longer but not yet. The last of their senior year in high school was really just kind of one big send off. You know, it’s all of the stuff, it’s the prom, it’s the senior trip, it’s all of that. And then they graduate and sometimes then there’s a move-up day for the kids that are still in high school. That you know, okay, now you’re a senior, now you’re a junior, and suddenly they don’t belong to the high school anymore, but they don’t feel like they belong to the college yet. So it’s a summer of feeling a lot of emotions and this sort of limbo, this in-between place, which can make it a very emotional summer. Just, parents, brace yourself, because it can be a really tough summer. But if they start to do some of these college things that they need to do earlier in the summer, it can help them start to feel like a college student, to feel a little less like a holdover high school student and a little more, you know, focused on what’s ahead.
So let’s think about some of the specific things that they really need to do often, often while they’re still in high school, because a lot of high schools may not graduate till mid-June or even late June. I know some states graduate quite late in June, but colleges have had Commencement very often in early May and everyone at the college has now turned their attention to the incoming class.
Vicki Nelson: 15:17
So I’ll start with one. One of the things your student may need to do are some placement tests. Not all colleges do it. Again, it’s different at every school and your student should ask and find out or check their email and see what the college has sent them. Often it’s writing and math, or English and math are the two areas where there may be different levels and college wants to make sure your student is in the right level.
Vicki Nelson: 15:50
If they’re not ready for college-level math, they might recommend a remedial class or a review class before they take college-level math. So they often have a little test that they have to take. It’s online most of the time for the college to determine what’s the appropriate placement and I think sometimes that takes students by surprise and one of two things might happen. They might worry because they think if I don’t do well on this test, maybe the college will take back their admissions offer. And that’s not what a placement test is about. You’re in, it’s not a second chance, or something like that. Or the student says, eh, I’m not going to care, I’m not going to worry about it, and they sort of blow it off.
Vicki Nelson: 16:57
And as a parent you might help your student understand the purpose and that doing well on the placement test, as well as you are able, is important because it could help you avoid taking a remedial class which might mean an extra. Okay, I have to take this class to strengthen my math skills. Then I have to take my required math class. For some students that’s absolutely right and it’s what they should do, so they’ll do well when they get into math.
Vicki Nelson: 17:21
But it would be a shame for a student to place into a remedial class because they blew off the placement test and didn’t take it seriously. So they might want to take a little time to review a little bit of their math, especially as so many happens, there’s so many students that they don’t take math in their senior year and then they might want to review a little bit of math before they sit down to do the placement test or really think carefully about their writing skills before they do that. So as a parent, you might want to you know, talk to your student about are there placement tests? Here’s what that’s about. Here’s what they’re for if your student isn’t sure, and help them think about how they can prepare and do as well as they’re able on those placement tests. But the college needs that information at the beginning of the summer to know where to place the student.
Sarah Shane: 18:14 I
In some cases before the beginning of the summer. And just to add to that, um, Vicki, I know another. Another subject that many students do have to take a placement test is in is their language. Because depending especially, you know, if you’re getting a BA, depending on which college, what’s your major, all that you often, many schools, require a language, or at least through the intermediate level of a language. That’s typically the designation. So that’s another reason that students should take the placement tests seriously. Because if you’re kind of out all night the night before you have had three hours of sleep and all right, yeah, I’m going to do this now, whatever, and then don’t do your best and aren’t really paying attention and aren’t trying your hardest, you could test easily, test lower in a language exam than you could have. And then you would need additional language courses because you might need, you know, say, if it’s Spanish. There’s typically Spanish 101, 102, and then the next level is intermediate 201. Some schools want you to go through the 201 and 202. Others just, you know, the first level of the intermediate. You might test right into that. So you’d only have to take, for example, Spanish 201 or French 201 or whatever language you’ve taken in high school. But if you either didn’t take the language placement at all or you didn’t take it seriously when you did take it, that could place you easily in a lower class and you wouldn’t feel challenged and you wouldn’t want to really be in it. If it’s too easy, the writing and math you may not be able to take again. Different schools have different policies. Some will let you retake it once or something, but even if they do, it can be a bit of a production because someone might have to reset it and it takes a bit. So really trying your hardest on them from the beginning makes a big difference. So I always mention that and along with that. So, for example, the school I work at, we do advising and I know a lot of schools do in May, and early to mid-May is when we start these things, exactly as you’re saying, Vicki, like once you know some schools wait till after graduation. Others are able to start a little earlier than that. But anything that we can do to get things started and get students in and ready just makes things so much easier.
Sarah Shane: 20:40
But in order to do that, we want to make sure we know everything you’ve taken in terms of any college courses. So a lot of students take AP exams certainly not everyone, and they’re not required but if you have taken one and typically for students who’ve taken one in their sophomore and junior years. Obviously those scores are available. They come out. The scores come out every year in July For seniors who are taking them. You know you won’t have those until July also, so that you can’t always have that information prior to scheduling and registration.
Sarah Shane: 21:15
But it is something then you definitely want to follow up with your advisor because your schedule most likely will be done by June and so once those come out you want to make sure if you got a score that’s high enough to exempt you from a course, you will definitely want to make sure you speak to that advisor as soon as possible to get you into a different course, because you can’t get credit for the same thing twice. So if you got a certain score on the you know AP psychology exam and that college accepts that score, well, you don’t want to be taking intro psych or general psych, which is a requirement for some majors. So it wouldn’t help you to take that because you’re already getting credit for it. So and it’s not really ideal to wait I mean you, you, some students wait until they kind of get to school in August and figure it out, but you’ll have more choices in terms of courses still being open and available and you’ll have more time to chat with an advisor over the summer, whereas everyone’s in a bit of a frenzied panic the week classes start in August and things will have filled up even more.
Sarah Shane: 22:19
So you definitely want to make sure to get any of those AP exam scores in and you should send them to the admission office actually really as soon as you’ve, as early as when you’ve deposited, because you’re an official student then. So you just have those scores officially sent. You know from there it would be. The college board would send them to your college. And then the same thing if you’ve taken any college courses while in high school, so that’s. You might hear the term dual enrollment. So that’s essentially what it means.
Sarah Shane: 22:51
When a student has taken a course through a community college or somewhere else and has not used it for high school credit They’ve taken a college level course and only are planning to use it at the college they need to get that official transcript from that college sent directly to their school. And some students don’t realize that. They think either the high school is going to do it for them or it’s going to magically appear on something. But it doesn’t. So you need to make sure.
Sarah Shane: 23:16
And the other thing about all this fun stuff is that it can take the college several weeks to process.
Sarah Shane: 23:22
So what that means, because it has to go through a number of offices. So you send it to the admission office but then they have to send it to the registrar’s office and the registrar has to evaluate it and post it and then get that to the academic or advising office for them to be aware of it. And in some cases, you know, the registrar might have to send it to an academic department to get evaluated all these extra things. But it can take several weeks. It’s not uncommon for credit, from the time you order that official transcript from your college or from the College Board for AP exam scores, it can definitely take easily several weeks to get that information to your advisor and on your academic record. And if the advisor doesn’t have that, they won’t. You know there could be some you know mistakes on your schedule that you will need to follow up on and do so as soon as possible to get the most you know accurate schedule that would benefit you for your major.
Vicki Nelson: 24:19
That’s really huge. I think you know as you describe it, I understand it. You know it goes to admissions, it goes to the registrar, sometimes it goes to the department. Then it needs to be posted. Then whoever is going to be making a schedule or working with student on a schedule needs the information. But we don’t think about all of those layers that are happening for several hundred or a thousand students?
Sarah Shane: 24:49
No, it’s true, and I think too, students are used to you know, if they’re out sick from high school, they bring a note and the next day it gets put on their you know attendance as an excused absence and it’s you know 24 hours. It’s all done. Pretty much nothing happens at the college level in 24 hours. It has to go through so many people and so many offices, so you just need to leave a lot of time for that.
Other things that students will have to do, and often, in addition to placement tests, there’ll be an advising survey or something similar to that, where the advisor is sending out information, or the advising office, or however it’s done at that school, asking you to complete the form and answer specific questions. And it’s very important to think about those questions and take them seriously, because in many institutions, and probably most institutions, the schedule is created without the student there and the advisor wants to do the best job possible, because they would certainly love to meet with the student after and make any changes. But it makes it go more smoothly for the student if they have all the information ahead of time. So, for example, they might ask about your interests and hobbies and, you know, think about them, because part of why they ask that is because they might have courses that you can get credit for, for things that you already like to do. So, for example, painting, any kind of arts, dance. You might have a college radio station that you know you could be a part of if you have an interest in that, or theater. There’s all kinds of things. If you mention that, that’s it. You wouldn’t the student wouldn’t even kind of know that exists in the world and many students don’t understand that those courses, those are fun things they already like to do, and in music they can take instruments, whatever instrument they want to learn or if they have been playing one they can even do an intermediate you know private music and guitar or piano or something, but it’s something they enjoy and they can get credit for it, because most colleges require some kind of art credit and you know different kinds of humanities. So it’s nice to be able to do that in a subject area that you are, that you enjoy or that you would like to explore.
Sarah Shane: 26:52
And answering those types of questions as fully as possible will really help the advisor give you things that they think you will enjoy. Because a lot of students are so focused on their major that they don’t, first of all, they don’t really realize the breakdown of the degree and that there’s general electives or liberal arts they’re called either or at different schools they’re, you know a minor they could do, but so students are typically focused on their major. But there’s many other courses they have to take throughout their time at the college and it’s great to be able to take things you’re interested in. And if you don’t kind of share your interests with your advisor, they wouldn’t even know that you know certain things you love and you would really enjoy and get extra levels of credit. For example, we have diversity requirements, we have a global requirement, we have humanities and social sciences, which are more traditional, but there’s ways to make things even more interesting and make you enjoy them even more but you just have to be open about what those interests are.
Vicki Nelson: 27:49
So you can share what you’ve taken in high school, but also things that, gosh, you would just love love to do, and that’s good. And then. And then I think, don’t they usually ask also things like well you know, do you prefer morning classes or afternoon classes, or, would you know, would you rather have classes back to back or would you like things spread out? Because it’s a little different than high school where you go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom from class to class Right, no, so that’s a great yep and do you.
Vicki Nelson: 28:26
You know what are the. Are you playing athletics so that you’re not scheduled in a class at the same time that the football team is practicing or something like that.?
Sarah Shane: 28:33
No, definitely. So make sure you’re yeah, you’re, you’re kind of student is aware of being as generous and forthcoming with information as possible, because it will only help the advisor, help them have the best schedule for them. And there’s usually a caveat too, to say, you know, if you prefer morning classes or afternoon or vice versa. But they’ll also say, depending on your major, depending on whatever your, whenever your sports team practices, or anything they may not be able to, you know, give you what you were hoping is a perfect schedule. There’s really no such thing.
Vicki Nelson: 29:05
Here’s a required course that you have to take and I’m sorry it’s only offered at 8.30 in the morning, so you know you’re going to have that. But so so if, if you can help your student understand why they’re being asked all these questions, that may help them, you know. Be willing to share more information.
Sarah Shane: 29:27
Yeah, no, and that’s a great point. Cause nobody’s asking anything for busy work, right? Nobody wants to compile more information or do more whatever on our end. Just to, you know, bother your poor student and make them, you know, give up all this information. We’re doing it to help the student as much as possible and we know as much as we would definitely want to hear back from the student and if they have any changes or any questions and that’s another we know that they won’t all take advantage of that, so we want it to be the best it can possibly be the first time around. But that’s another good point too.
Sarah Shane: 30:00
And that and I dealt with this with my older son, you know, when he got his schedule and he was like, well, why am I in this class? I don’t know, why don’t you email your advisor? And you know he was having a busy summer, he was working a million hours, he was all over the place and he’s like, oh, you know, and he kept kind of putting it off and I’ll, you know, I’ll talk to her. And then it was finally, I’ll talk to her when I get there. And you know, he ended up staying in the class and it wasn’t his first choice, but it ended up being fine, but if he’d had the conversation with her when she’d reached out, then it could have been a different story.
Sarah Shane: 30:29
So I think that it’s super important to tell your students that, having a face-to-face conversation, they shouldn’t feel nervous. They’re not going to be put on the spot about anything their you know their advisor is just going to want to chat and get to know them a little and you know it’ll be an easy should. 99.9% of the time it’s an easy, fun conversation and the student will feel so much better after because they’ll know their advisor, they’ll know, you know how they kind of. They’ll just have a better sense and a, you know, feeling of welcoming and belonging. And okay, I can do this type of thing. And because so often we hear from students and I know mine said the same thing oh well, I don’t want to bother them. Oh, my goodness, you’re not bothering them. This is what their job, this is what they want to do.
Sarah Shane: 31:12
That’s what they want to do.
That’s why they’re reaching out to you. So please, please, have them take advantage of it and kind of wipe away the notion that you know it’s an inconvenience for the, for the school, at any, at any point. No, they want to hear from you, they want to make sure you’re all set, they want to try to make you as happy as possible to to the extent they can, you know, from the beginning. So having the student taken, you know, an interest in doing everything they can from the beginning to be involved in that just makes it such a better process.
Vicki Nelson: 31:42
So they’ll give as much information, through whatever vehicle the college uses, and then either they’ll be sent a schedule, which they should reach out to the advisor to talk about or to ask questions about, or, depending on the school, they may be given an appointment to meet with an advisor to create the schedule together.
Vicki Nelson: 32:08
Some places do that and that might be at orientation, or it might be online or it might be something like that. So that scheduling piece, even though it seems really far off right now, is really important early in the summer.
So I want to think about some of the other things, because that’s a huge piece and for your student that’s very real, Because I worked with students a lot in the summer on advising and when we create their schedule, once they have that schedule, you can just see something happen to them that changes, because now I know what my life is going to be like, I know what I’m going to be taking, I know what my days are going to look like, and it suddenly feels real, so that’s really important early on, but there are a lot of other things that they also need to do.
Vicki Nelson: 32:59
Maybe not, some of them may not be quite as urgent early, but should be done early, as should the summer to get you know, get things taken care of. One is certainly financial planning, and it’s possible that parents are doing more of that, but it’s not a bad idea to involve your student in the conversations and if you, you know, I mean we won’t even go there to talk about the FAFSA mess, this year which is delaying everything and frustrating everybody and it’s a mess.
Sarah Shane: 33:38
But just to interrupt.
I’m so sorry to interrupt as you’re saying that, though, but please make sure if you or your student have not filled it out yet, they have worked out the kinks and please make sure to fill it out as soon as possible. The financial aid offices are, you know, are very well aware that the numbers are down for new students and returning students, so whether you’re you know, you already have a current student also, but you’re you know you haven’t filled it out for either. Please go ahead. It’s, it’s safe to do now. It works. Everything glitches. Please don’t put it off for another minute, because it does take time for the government to process and then send to the school, so that can delay that, and it would delay on any money you should you might receive.
Vicki Nelson: 34:21
I remember it was a shocker for me when my first went away to college and we did the whole thing, sent her away freshman year, and then I found out I had to do it again every year. I didn’t realize it was this moment of what I have to do, this again, oh my goodness. And then I thought and I have two more that are coming along. One of the most exciting moments for me was when I filled out the last FAFSA for my last kid. And I said never again will I have to do that.
Sarah Shane: 34:48
Now you’re just rubbing it in.
But I do have to say it is not. So folks don’t feel overwhelmed. Now that they’ve worked out the kinks, they have made it much smoother. So you don’t need your tax. You don’t need to go scrummaging around for your tax info, because that’s already pulled in it is a lot more simplified now that they worked out the kinks, so please don’t worry.
Vicki Nelson: 35:13
Well, it wasn’t back when I was doing it.
Sarah Shane:
Right right. Well, it wasn’t for my first one either
Vicki Nelson: 35:13
But the other thing in terms of thinking about the financial is financial aid offices are more than happy to meet with any student, to meet with any family, maybe to meet with the family and the student together, whether it’s online or in person, to help you with the process, to answer your questions, they will bend over backwards because your student has been accepted, your student has deposited and now they want to make it work for you. So don’t hesitate to do that, but don’t do it two days before the first bill is due to get it done early.
Vicki Nelson: 36:03
So a couple of other things your student has to do. Most colleges have some kind of alcohol and drug education thing. It’s often online.
I know when my kids were going, it was called alcoho.ledu or some alcohol edu or something and it was a series of of you know, questions and little readings they had to do and they had to fill it out. Now I know for one of my daughters they were not allowed to move in on move-in day if they hadn’t done this thing. She had all summer. There she was at midnight the night before we were going to get in the car and drive to the college trying to get this thing done. So this doesn’t. It’s not like the advising, where you got to get it done early so you get your schedule, but you know it’s easy to put off.
Sarah Shane: 36:43
It’s not going to go away.
Vicki Nelson: 36:45
It has to get done. That’s something. Another thing that they have are housing forms. They’ll probably, if they’re living on campus, they will get some kind of forms to fill out, Sort of like the advising survey of you know, to find out a little more about them. Do you, you know? Do you smoke or do you not smoke? Do you, you know? Are you messy? Are you tidy? Do you like to get up early in the morning? Do you like to study late at night? Do you like to study with music on? I mean all of those sort of lifestyle questions.
Vicki Nelson: 37:19
And especially if your student is going to be living in the residence hall and is going to the college, is going to make the roommate match, they need this information and they need it early because they want to be able to match students. There’s never a perfect marriage, but you know, but to find things that students have in common. So your student needs to do the housing form. They need to do the housing form as early as they can because they’re not going to get matched and put in a room until they’ve done that and your student needs to do it. Don’t do it for your student, and your student needs to do it honestly, Because it’s not. This is the ideal person I’d like to be, but this is the person I am. So let remind your student to do it. Let them do it and don’t ask them what they filled out, because there may be some questions that are personal and they may not want to share.
Vicki Nelson: 38:27
It’s hard for us to imagine that they have things that they don’t want to share with us, but it’s more important that they fill this out honestly. They may be a smoker, and maybe you don’t know it, and if they don’t fill that out, then then you know if they’re not going to have a good roommate.
Sarah Shane: 38:45
yeah, and and if they know you’re going to look at it after, they’re not going to be honest either. So this is the start of letting them do everything they possibly can on their own. And you know, frankly, once they get there, it’s it’s their world that they’re living in, so it to be a successful. You know it’s, once they get there,
Vicki Nelson: 39:05
It’s it’s their world that they’re living in, so it to be a successful you know, it’s the beginning of the letting go, the beginning of the letting go.
You will always have a job as a parent, but it’s going to be different. One last one that I sort of wanted to mention you mentioned the health forms earlier. So you know, and and the the the having to make your doctor’s appointment and get your checkup and get your vaccines. There are some other things both for students and for parents to think about. You know they should get a medical history so that they have that If they have to go to the health center.
Vicki Nelson: 39:33
It’s nice to have that sort of thing. Make sure they fill out an emergency contact form of who are the people not just you, but who are backup people for any kind of emergency contact that they have to do, that they have documentation about their immunizations that they have and know how to use health insurance information. They have to have that card or paper or whatever that it is. If your student is an athlete, there are some additional things they’re going to have to do. So they don’t want to be running around, they don’t want to be told you know you’re on the football team. The football team’s going to come to campus three weeks early to start practice, but you’re not allowed to practice unless you have form A, b, c and D, and now suddenly you’re running around for that.
Sarah Shane: 40:30
And to add to that, Vicki, that’s so true and I think parents have to be aware that students definitely aren’t always paying attention to that either and they literally cannot and will not let you move in without those health forms and without you know the alcohol and drug modules done, because they need you to be a respectful citizen living on campus. But the same thing not even just for athletics. Some move early. If you’re moving early because you’re on the dance team or the marching band, all kinds of groups move in early or have the opportunity to move in early. But they will not let you with all that stuff done without it.
Vicki Nelson: 41:02
So get it all done as early as you can. Yeah.
Vicki Nelson: 41:05
And make sure it’s your student who’s checking their email for their forms, and not you. The longer this list gets, I can imagine some parents saying, oh, this is going to be overwhelming for my student, I just better get those passwords and check their email, and that’s really, really, really not the way to go.
A couple of other things. If they take prescriptions, they want to make sure they have copies of their prescriptions and that they transfer them, probably to a pharmacy close to the college and that they know how to renew a prescription. If you’re the one that always calls it in or goes and picks it up, make sure your student knows how to do that Any record of any serious allergies that they might need. And then there are a couple of things for parents. You want to think about a medical information release form Sometimes it’s called a healthcare proxy, that when your student goes away to college they’re considered an adult and HIPAA, the Health Information Privacy Act.
Vicki Nelson: 42:09
There’s another P in there somewhere Patient Privacy Act kicks in. So if something happens to your student or your student is sick and you call the health center and say you know my student is sick, are they there? Are they okay? They can’t talk to you. If your student is in an accident or something happens and they get taken to the emergency room, you can’t call and say, tell me how my student is, unless you have this release form. So it’s something you and your student want to talk about before they go and you want to get that and sometimes a medical proxy form. There are a couple of forms. There’s one place and this is not an endorsement, but I have seen it and I’ve heard it recommended and I’ll put the link in the show notes called Mama Bear Forms.
Sarah Shane:
We did that.
Vicki Nelson: 43:03
and they have yes, they have packets of the legal forms that you might you and your student want to look at and fill out together. Some of them may need to be notarized, so that’s another reason why you don’t want to be filling them out the night before your student goes to school. So really, you know, go to Mama Bear forms and just look at them. Even if you don’t you have to pay for some of those it’s worth it. But even if you don’t use their services, you could look and see what some of those things are. If you have a lawyer, you might want to ask or something, but those can be really important as well.
So that’s a lot of stuff. The one last thing, and then we really we’re going to wrap it up.
Vicki Nelson: 43:45
We’re going to take all summer talking about this is orientation. Do you want to talk about that a little bit.?
Sarah Shane: 43:49
Sure, I definitely do. I think it’s so important and helpful and wonderful if your student can take advantage of one of the opportunities for orientation, and many schools have a variety of options. They might have an online version, an in-person version. They usually have several different choices of dates. Whatever works for your family is great. I do advocate, if at all possible, to do an in-person one.
Sarah Shane: 44:16
I know that’s not always ideal if you’re schlepping from across the country and it’s not easy to get to, but it’s so helpful for the student to meet other students in person and to kind of have a few friends then that they can go, you know when they all go back home, but they can be chatting throughout the rest of the summer and just feel connected with people and really just kind of have someone they feel, you know, have a few students that they feel like they’re friends with already and just feel welcomed and feel comfortable. And also, when you know when you do go in person, you get a much better sense of the campus and where everything is and how to get to places, because I know a lot of students tend to worry like they’re going to get dropped in on the first day and have no idea where to go and what to do, and you know that just really eliminates that. When they get a better sense of the campus and a better feel for things and you know they’ll meet some great folks on campus from the different offices they will probably be visiting throughout their time there. They might meet faculty If faculty are giving presentations about their majors or something that definitely doesn’t happen at every orientation or at every school, but sometimes it is and it’s great to get a sense of the different faculty and the different majors and if you maybe want a minor in something and you can go to that presentation.
Sarah Shane: 45:29
There’s lots of different reasons but it just makes a student feel so much more comfortable and feel connected and just feel excited. And if in-person isn’t an option and there’s an online option, that’s certainly fine too, because they’ll again see friendly faces over the Zoom or, you know, be connected, maybe have small chat groups or however the school sets it up for the students to break out into to chat. So same thing They’ll still meet some other students and get their contact info. So they have some friendly faces on campus and you know it’s really helpful.
Vicki Nelson: 46:01
And you know, a lot of schools also have an orientation for parents and if you again, if it’s online, do that. But if you can do it and it is in person and it’s often in parallel to the one for students, you know students go here and parents go here. That’s a wonderful opportunity as well, because you meet other parents. You also get a sense of place. I know I remember going to orientations with all three of my girls as they were getting ready to go to college and by the time I came home more than just the admissions tour that we had done, I really had a sense of place.
Vicki Nelson: 46:42
So that when my daughter said I’m going here or I’m going to the theater or I’m going to this to go get my dinner. I could picture where they were on campus and really got a lot of my questions answered as well. So I strongly recommend it for parents.
Sarah Shane: 46:59
I’m glad you said that and to add to that, there are specific points where the college is going to strategically separate the parent orientation from the student orientation. Please respect that and don’t be crawling into the student part, because it’s usually geared towards students meeting other students and the student isn’t going to go to try to make friends with their parents sitting there right next to them or you know whatever it is. So and the information they give to parents is really important information for the parents.
Vicki Nelson: 47:29
So yeah, sometimes, you know, I remember working, you know advising, spending some of orientation. It’s where some schools do student schedules and you might meet. You know they might be meeting with an advisor in an advising group to plan their schedules and there always are parents who say, well, I need to come to that, I need to come.
Sarah Shane:
No, they don’t, please don’t.
Vicki Nelson: 47:59
Yeah, please don’t. Give your student the opportunity. The college now is dealing with your student. Their relationship is with the student and this is the opportunity for your student to have that meeting. Then they can come home and they can talk to you about what they and their advisor decided on as a schedule. And if you have questions about it, talk to your student about it and then let them call their advisor or call the school and ask more questions or ask to have it adjusted if need be.
Sarah Shane: 48:32
But that needs to be in the reins of the hands of the students,
Vicki Nelson:
and it’s very, very hard sometimes to let go, but this is the beginning.
Vicki Nelson: 48:46
There are always safety nets of ways to check in with your student afterward and do that. We’ve got to quit. But I know, Sarah, you wanted to say one thing about Facebook groups.
Sarah Shane: 48:58
Oh, sure, sure, sure. So one thing you know it’s great if your student can start following kind of the social media of the school and typically they might also have a family newsletter that you can sign up for, which is great. So then you know the college will send the parents an email every week with goings on about the school or what’s due for the student to do. So that way you can kind of keep it in check with what you should know and kind of not without honing in on the student’s email, but the student you know should be checking the you know social media also, because they’ll say don’t forget, this form is due. You know they have other, easier reminders.
Vicki Nelson: 49:35
And they meet other kids online and they and the admissions send things and sometimes the orientation leaders and the residents resident assistants reach out to them and they get to know them. So that’s good, but parents . . . yeah,
Sarah Shane: 49:48
I would be careful of the. A lot of schools have kind of unofficial Facebook sites for parents to chat on, and you know, you certainly can, obviously everyone to each his own. But I would just be careful because sometimes people get very, you know, the anxiety in those groups gets ratcheted up because parents are like, well, what comforter do I have to buy for the room? And you know, and they kind of make themselves a little crazy about every last thing. And you know, just know, that you can’t know the specs of the exact specs of the room until you get there. And as much as you want it to be perfect for your student, you know the student, you bring all the necessities and it’ll be fine, and the student can order on Amazon after and don’t have to worry about every single thing being perfect on the day you drop off. And you know, it’s always great to read through things and get an idea, but don’t let yourself get spun out of control.
Vicki Nelson: 50:45
Some of the parents, some of the parents who are very active on some of the Facebook groups and there are some wonderful ones out there and you have to, you know critically, think about what you’re reading. Sometimes there are parents who do not know what they’re talking about. Some parents who have had some kind of bad experience with something and that’s spilling over into everything. So you know, it’s great and it’s a great way to connect and it’s a great way to gather information, sometimes from parents who have students who’ve been at the school a while. But be careful and do it cautiously.
Wow, we’ve, you know if we haven’t overwhelmed you at this point. But work with your student, have them set up their email, check their their college email, get, get, make it a habit of doing it regularly over the summer and get as much of this done early in the summer as they can, even though it seems really strange to them.
Vicki Nelson: 51:51
I’m still finishing up my high school senior year and you’re asking me to do these college things, but there’s a reason, because there’s a lot that has to be done. We will put in the show notes links to some of these things that we can link to and maybe a list of some of the things to think about and so you can find those show notes at collegeparentcentral.com/podcast. That will take you to a list of all of our episodes and you can get to this episode about the almost college student and get the information that you need there.
We’re really grateful that you spent this time with us. We hope it’s been helpful and we’ll see you next time.
Sarah Shane: 52:47
Thank you so much. This was great.
