Announcer: 0:10Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast. Whether your child is just beginning the college admission process or is already in college, this podcast is for you. You’ll find food for thought and information about college and about navigating that delicate balance of guidance, involvement and knowing when to get out of the way. Join your hosts as they share support and a celebration of the amazing experience of having a child in college.

Vicki Nelson: 0:51So welcome to the College Parent Central podcast, where we talk about all sorts of things that have to do with parenting students who are thinking about college, getting ready for college, in college and maybe just beginning to step out of college, and I am here today with my co-host, E elizabeth Hamblet, and we are streaming this live as well. She is streaming it live on Facebook, but then you will get to hear it as a podcast episode in a little while, and I always like being here with Elizabeth, but the good thing is I am not. We are not here alone. We have an exciting guest with us today, and it’s someone, i If you’ve been listening to the College Parent Central podcast since we started five years ago, you may remember Dr Jill Grimes, who came to us. I mean, that was five years ago, jill. It’s amazing and we’re excited to have her back to talk to her today, so let me introduce you to her.

Vicki Nelson: 1:49Jill is a nationally recognized medical media expert, now known in some circles as the TikTok doc, and she’s an award-winning author. We’re going to talk to her about her book and the proud mom of two awesome recent college grads, and when we talked to you before they were in college, and so, yes, things have changed.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 2:17Time has marched

Vicki Nelson: 2:19Dr Grimes worked with her patients in private practice for over two decades and then made a leap to college health in a busy university campus health center and I can only imagine how busy those health centers are. And Dr Grimes’ peers recognize her from years of teaching and speaking for the American Academy of Family Physicians and young adults know her, of course, from TikTok and all sorts of places on social media, but we are thrilled to have Dr Grimes back to talk th the third edition of her book, which is the Ultimate College Student Health Handbook your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness. And it’s almost like someone said that having this book is like having your own family doctor as your college student’s roommate, so it’s a great resource for that. So, jill Grimes, thank you for being with us again today.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 3:30Oh, thank you so much for having me back. I can’t believe it’s been that long.

Vicki Nelson: 3:33I know.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 3:35I’m, you know, you’re my people.

Vicki Nelson: 3:38Well, there are a lot of people out there who are your people and who really want to hear what you have to share, because you are really one of the premier specialists in college health, a very specific field. So, by way of introduction, can you share with us a little bit about what led you to make that shift to college health and why focus on that?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 4:06Sure. So honestly, like many things, it starts with my family of origin. My dad was a professor and an administrator and as he moved up the academic ladder we moved to a different state every couple of years. But so I grew up with the tremendous fortune of being on a zillion different college campuses, because even when we traveled in the summer, if we took a you know, we did a driving vacation we would stop at practically every college along the way where he would meet with former faculty members or future faculty members if he was recruiting, and so I grew up just loving the college atmosphere.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 4:45I honestly, to me there’s nothing more vibrant than a college campus, particularly on a game day, whatever whether it’s football, basketball, baseball, soccer, whatever I just you know that fun college spirit and enthusiasm.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 4:59So I’ve always loved that and I really enjoyed my private practice, for literally I had my own practice for about a decade and then I worked for another practice for another decade and then my practice was actually sold to a hospital and while I was on sabbatical, writing a book not this book, a different book and I it was just a different dynamic and I really didn’t want to go back to that and I had always worked very, very part time, like, like, literally sometimes one day a semester, but sometimes more than that, a few times a month over at the University of Texas and which is I live in Austin, and so I ended up joining them and I worked for them on campus for seven years. I am not currently working there and nothing I say speaks for them or any former employee employer. Excuse me, but it was an amazing experience to be on campus and I worked in the urgent care department of the university health services, so I was seeing patients. I wasn’t teaching over there, I was being a doctor over there and it was very eye-opening.

Vicki Nelson: 6:16And you got the bug to keep doing that.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 6:24I did. I just I really enjoy that age group and, honestly, my, our girls, as you noted, just recently got out of college and grad school and a little bit of it I’ll be 100% honest was a bit of an empty nest thing. l t

Dr. Jill Grimes: 6:37It was great for me to be with students the exact age as my girls, and you know, a lot of college students are missing their moms and dads when, especially when they’re sick, and so I got to give some mom hugs in my doctor capacity, which is always nice and you know just it. I’ve I always worked part time and so I’ve been the homeroom mom and I was the photographer for the dance team in high school, and so I’ve been the homeroom mom and I was the photographer for the dance team in high school, and so I’ve always been around our girls age group as they grew up, and, in fact, my favorite nickname is cool mom, not because I was cool and let people party, but because I was cool that anyone could ask me anything and not be embarrassed about it. So I just I I enjoy, in particular, our girls age group and just let me keep doing that.

Vicki Nelson: 7:38So so I’m going to I’m going to stay on that, that theme, for a little bit of when you shifted from more of a family practice and started working with college age students, Were there any surprises for you there?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 7:57Honestly the biggest surprise, given that I’m in the same town and I honestly had the same patient population. I just had, you know, this was a subset of my patient population. But I was actually surprised at the degree of and this is true of any campus, but I was surprised at the degree of binge drinking and substance use, particularly THC products, cannabis.

Vicki Nelson: 8:27And I think we want to talk a little more about that as we go along. But one of the things I noticed when I looked at the new edition of your book because last time we talked to you it was a couple of editions ago, I think talked to you it was a couple of editions ago, I think was it was really the very first thing in your book that you started with and that that’s the 12 tips for doctor visits on your own, and it occurred to me that I never thought about that when my daughters were this age. I never thought about. Well, you know, maybe I want to talk about what to expect when you know, when you’re not going to the pediatrician with me, and how to talk to the doctor and what information they would need to be able to provide to the doctor. So can you talk a little bit about you know what, how parents can encourage their, their students, to to know what to do when they go for that doctor’s visit.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 9:31Sure, I, I. I added that section in particular because so many people asked me to add it and it seemed so obvious.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 9:41But I had started with over. I think I started with like over a hundred topics and just the publisher said no, no, no, no, we got to bring this down, and I don’t think I don’t know that that was in my original, but anyway, but it was definitely one of the surprises when I joined the university health setting, because it was the first time I was seeing young adults having to navigate the system by themselves, and so that’s why I ended up adding this topic. And so parents, boy, especially if you, I think that this should start in middle school. It starts with allowing your child to be to have some alone portion with their physician. Typically in family medicine and in pediatrics as well, typically around 13, we start asking for that alone time just so we can have a few minutes just to see if they have any concerns that they would feel more comfortable expressing without their parents there. So that’s normal. If your physician is asking for that, that is very standard and that’s a good way to kind of ease in it. So that’s normal. If your physician is asking for that, that is very standard and that’s a good way to kind of ease in it so the parents can be in there to say, hey, here’s my concerns. But then we kind of ask them to go ahead and step out and you can always have another chaperone in there. It’s not a matter of the physician only being alone with your child if you have any concerns, but it’s just a matter of having the parent not there so that they can bring up any concerns that they have.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 11:13And then in high school it’s really important to start transitioning your kid into taking care of more and more of their own things. One thing in particular is if they have, for example, attention deficit and they take ADHD medications. A lot of parents you know that this may have started when they were very young and you’re just so used to. Every morning at breakfast, here is your pill and they’re used to having it handed to them, and so that’s a good thing to start transitioning to them where you’re keeping track of it and you help them devise I like the little you know weekly boxes, that on Sunday night you put one pill in each each day, and so that they can keep track of it and make sure that they’re that they’re taking it regularly, because it’s a big leap when you go from that to doing it on your own. Also, when that prescription runs out and it’s time for a refill, talk your kid through doing it, help them do it. It’s it.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 12:19It seems obvious to many parents who have been refilling medications for a long time, and some kids it’s easier than others, but it can be very intimidating. And so just knowing how to even even if it’s a completely automated call in a refill or what to expect when they go into the pharmacy and start going, have them go with you and you know you’re standing there right next to them and just so you know, the pharmacist is going to ask for the insurance card and then they have to sign the release. And you know, just so that they can start expecting that. Because I’ll tell you what, when you’re really sick and you’re away from home in college for the first time and that’s the first time you’ve ever filled a prescription it’s enough to push a lot of people over the edge of tears and frustration on top of everything else. So use high school to teach that.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 13:10And then, late in high school, once they’re driving on their own, and for sure, the summer before they head off to college, have them go to the doctor by themselves, ideally something where they have to fill out new patient paperwork, because that’s again very intimidating and something that’s changed in the last five years.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 13:31I still am a fan of taking a picture of your insurance card and having that on your phone, because that’s the very first thing any clinic is going to ask you if you go to an urgent care, no matter what. So have a picture front and back of your insurance card on your phone and have that favorited. But also it’s nice to have a Google document, something that you can access, that has your family history what diseases run in your family, that has your list of medications, including the dose, has your allergies and has your shot record on it. Because as long as they can access it because these kids aren’t going to be anywhere without a phone as long as they’ve got internet and they can access their Google document, they can find all those things that they need to fill out the new patient paperwork, and that’s a big step in adulting big step in adulting.

Vicki Nelson: 14:27So,

Vicki Nelson: 14:27you know you talk about the intimidation factor in fulfilling prescriptions. The other one, it seems sometimes with some of the students that I work with, is just how to call and make an appointment, that they suddenly have to call the campus clinic and make an appointment and they’ve never had to do that.

Vicki Nelson: 14:45So even you know that that’s something right, right, first thing, I I hate to see students who should be seeing somebody but just are too nervous about

Dr. Jill Grimes: 14:56yeah, most college campuses do, you can make things online and because, because students are, there is a phobia, there is a phone phobia, for sure, yeah, and certainly COVID didn’t help, but but yes, I think that’s a very good point.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 15:14And then the other things that I talk about and this is good for parents too is when you go to the doctor, you want to lead with what’s most important and very often, especially in college health I mean obviously college health self-selects for certain things that people are going to be embarrassed to talk about. If they’re concerned they have a sexually transmitted infection, or if they, there’s just a million different things that’s embarrassing to them, whether it’s anxiety or they can’t sleep, sleep or whatever. But so people will say that they’re coming in for stomach pain and really they have insomnia and they may also have stomach pain because they’re very anxious. But it’s helpful to just straight up, lead when you, if you can’t do it until you see the doctor’s face, do it then. But it’s ideal to do it up front because the people who schedule a lot time based on what your complaint is. So really, especially in college health, please reassure your kids that there’s nothing you can say or do. That’s going to shock them. They’ve seen it all and there’s no judgment. You know, I think it just is what it is and try your best to lead with why you’re really there.

Vicki Nelson: 16:37Really good advice. I want to ask one more question, then I’m going to give Elizabeth the chance. I’m just jumping in with all the questions, but it’s related to this idea of of preparing to go and and being ready, and it’s something you talked about last time. We we talked, but it’s so important I want you to talk about it again, and that is what paperwork parents should be thinking about. Um, what paperwork do you need to work out with your students? Um, you know, besides just filling out the health form that the college requires, what else should they be thinking about?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 17:11Right. So there is a HIPAA release, which is a privacy thing. Once your kid is 18, a doctor or nurse or clerk at a health center cannot talk to you, cannot even say yes, your child is there. This is a source of tremendous stress and grief for parents all the time, because parents will look on their phone. They’ll see their kid’s location oh my God, they’re at the health center. They call the health center because they call their kid, their kid doesn’t answer. Now they’re panicked and they call the health center. And then then it’s. It’s really bad because the health center cannot say legally, cannot say yes, I can confirm that your child is standing in front of me, they are alive. They’re not allowed to say that.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 17:56So there’s a HIPAA release that the kids can do there. I mean, it’s they are, they can do it there. But if you do it ahead of time, it saves all of this grief. And there I don’t have any financial ties or whatever. I personally used mama bear legal forms and I actually looked it up last night. I still have my stuff. So there’s the HIPAA release and then there’s also a medical power of attorney, basically for young people, where, if they were incapacitated, you already have their signature that you are able to make decisions for them, and I hate to say this, but this really comes into play at the college age. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of accidents in college and college students end up in emergency rooms unconscious and, whether that’s from drinking or whether it’s from a motor vehicle accident or those dreaded electric scooters, head injuries are common and if they can’t talk, the doctor can’t talk to you unless you have these forms. So I do encourage people to look at that and get those done before they go to school, especially if they’re out of state.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 19:21All really useful and scary Vicki.

Vicki Nelson: 19:25It is scary when you’re sending a student away, and anticipating these things can make it a whole lot less scary and a little bit more calming when you know you’ve got these things in place, so that parents can relax. Elizabeth, do you want a chance to ask?

Elizabeth Hamblet: 19:53Thank you, I’ve been sitting very patiently.

Vicki Nelson: 19:54I know you have.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 19:56I am a huge fan of this book and you know we’re here talking to parents, but Jill and this book is for students. I recommend everybody buy two copies and I’m also not getting a kickback, but I think it’s really important to have a copy at home so that when your student calls you at two o’clock in the morning which you know they’re going to do- or text.

Vicki Nelson: 20:19Yeah, or text.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 20:20Oh, yes, I said call. How silly of me. You can go and do the looking up when they already feel crummy and don’t feel like it. So one goes with your student in case they actually do want to take the reins and look up what they should do, Like you know the whole. Is it pink eye ? What is it? There are lots of these wonderful questions, but I see that you are also using social media to try to reach students. So you are the TikTok college doc.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 20:48Yes, I am and I’m transitioning to saying just college doc, yes, we don’t know what’s going to happen with TikTok. Lots of people have all kinds of ideas, both sides, about TikTok. I’m there because that’s where the students are . I am there to talk to them and answer questions and put out accurate information to basically combat all the misinformation.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 21:13Which I think is so, so, really important and you are covering. I mean I love watching your channels. You can also find Jill on Instagram. Should TikTok go away, but I mean stuff like why students get really really badly sunburned on spring break, like these very specific scenarios that really only somebody with your experiences could talk about. Are you focusing your messages in TikTok on you know kind of specific themes? You know how do you decide what’s going there and you know, are students responding to you Like are you getting the sense that they are really getting it?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 21:52Oh yes, and when I talk about drinking blackout drinking, if I say anything about weed which is very tricky because there’s a lot of things I want to talk about Like, I want to talk about suicide prevention and the suicide hotline thing is that when I talk about these things frequently it gets it’s called shadow banned where it’s on there. But it’ll get like you know eight views where something else gets millions and it’s not a matter of it, you know, it’s not a matter of it just not doing well, it’s, it’s literally gets shut down. And I’ve I’ve had multiple ones where TikTok has told me this is a banned topic, you can’t talk about it and you can appeal, and then after I appeal it, weeks later they’ll allow it. But when they allow it, they’re eking it out there.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 22:53So it’s challenging, it’s very challenging to talk about these things. But yes, when I do talk about them when I talked about the link between schizophrenia and cannabis, oh my goodness, I mean that had millions of views and you know tens of thousands of comments and they’re like what are you talking about? I’ve never heard of this. And then you’ve got other people saying, yes, that happened to my brother and you know. And then they’re, they’re talking amongst themselves, and so yeah it’s, it’s a, it’s a great way to reach a lot of young people. It is very challenging.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 23:27Yeah, and you know, certainly it’s information that we started by saying can be really challenging for parents to talk about, which is why you’re here, why you’re the cool mom right. So, in the time since the last edition, what kinds of changes are you seeing? What are your, you know, new and emerging concerns since that time?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 23:51So some of it’s not so much the concerns, it’s just what I was able to prioritize, but certainly the fentanyl crisis. I wanted to highlight that more. And the good news is that Narcan naloxone, which is the reversal agent for fentanyl overdose, that is now available without a prescription. And I, boy, I, I really struggled with this. On the front end At first I was like, oh, I don’t know if people should have that or not, and um, but now that it’s over the counter, I am very comfortable saying I do think every college student should have one. And it’s not because I think every college student is using street drugs. So here’s the thing street, street. Can I go off on this fora minute?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 24:42So I hear all the time well, my kid would never do drugs. Of course not. You’ve raised them. Well, they know not to do drugs. However, your kid might be absolutely exhausted. They’re pre-med, let’s say they’re studying for their organic chemistry test and or their freshman chemistry test and they’re freaked out and they have been up for like getting very little sleep because they’re so stressed about it. And finally their roommate or their suite mate or their sorority sister or a guy down the hall, whatever says, oh, my God, you’ve just got to get some sleep. Just take a Xanax here, just take this. And they hand them what looks like a prescription Xanax and they take it.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 25:27And the problem is 80% of drugs that look like prescription drugs that are sold on the street, 80%-ish have fentanyl in them and a good portion of those have enough fentanyl that one pill can kill. And so when this happens, it makes the headlines and we see this. And so when people say my kid wouldn’t do drugs, no, they wouldn’t go to the dark alley downtown and seek out a drug dealer. But would they take a pill when they are just frustrated and they just want to get some sleep? Would they take a gummy meaning a cannabis THC gummy. That looks there’s nothing that looks more innocent than a little gummy bear. But a lot of college students use those to sleep and you know there’s. That’s how, that’s what a college drug dealer looks like. It looks like your friend, another student, because that’s who it is, and that is that’s how this creeps in there. So, having having that Narcan available, you’re not going to do any harm. But if you walk in and your roommate is unconscious on the bed, which you know, they’re unconscious because you cannot wake them up, you know, and you could administer, that you could save a life.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 26:56I thought it was really important to talk about that and to talk about, you know, not fentanyl, but also how to actually use the spray and how you’re not going to harm people. And and just to be more aware that these things come this way, because a lot of people don’t realize that these street drugs, they, they literally the, the people who are manufacturing the drugs, largely in Mexico, for at least, certainly for Texas, I mean, they come from different countries but there’s more manufacture outside our country than there is manufacturing inside our country, to the best of my knowledge. But at any rate, they have the imprinters. So if you look at any prescription pill, you’ll see that it has an imprint on it, which, by the way, it’s a good thing to know.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 27:39If you ever find a stray pill, you look at it, you go on Google and look for a drug identifier and it’ll walk you through. Oh, that’s a white oval capsule and it has these letters and number on it and you put that in there and it will tell you what it is. But these fake ones. If you put that in there and say the guy says it’s Xanax. It comes up and says Xanax because it looks exactly like a prescription Xanax. So it’s really important to have these conversations with your kids and talk about, especially when they’re feeling exhausted at the end of their rope before finals or midterms or whatever. to say you know again, if you need something to help you sleep in this example, go talk with your doctor. Never take anything from anybody else. Even if you see them take it out of their prescription bottle that they got from their doctor, you just can’t trust that.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 28:34Yeah, I mean, and I loved what you said in the book too about you know, the college drug dealer doesn’t look like what many of us think of as as a drug dealer. They’re not coming out of a law and order episode, right.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 28:46Exactly.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 28:47But you know, and and you also make a really good point to parents who have used cannabis that this is not the cannabis of their time in college. It’s much stronger.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 28:59Yes, yeah, today’s weed is not yesterday’s pot.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 29:04Okay and so, but for parents for whom perhaps that wasn’t their college experience and they are, you know, resisting having their student read your book because it talks, you know, very frankly but very importantly, about the kinds of topics that make the parents uncomfortable. So you know, sex, drugs and rock and roll, but to me it’s so important because somebody has to talk to them. But what is your argument to parents about why their students should read this book?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 29:41One. I will tell you, I get very little pushback and I live in the Bible belt. I think that there’s certainly parents say, well, my kid won’t, they won’t need that, and my answer in general is, oh, I certainly hope they don’t, but they might need it for a friend.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 30:05And it’s really, you know, I there’s. There’s always the kid in every group. That’s the mom even if it’s a guy joke, and they call him the mom right. The one who, when someone else is too drunk, that’s who always ends up taking care of him. That’s the one who cleans up the Uber when the friend pukes in it and pays the extra money. That’s the one who’s. And so your kid might be that super kind kid and these kids actually tend to take on a little too much because they’re so used to being in that role and they and they. It becomes kind of a self fulfilling thing that you know like, oh, I can take care of this, because I always do take care of this, and I especially want them to have the book and I want them to understand when they need to call for help.

Vicki Nelson: 31:00Yeah, and you know, it seems to me that you do have chapters. You have sections about some of those things that make us, as parents, uncomfortable. You know my kid’s not going to need that, but there’s so much more in the book that every kid is going to need. You know what do you do when you have this kind of a headache, what do you do when you have this sort of rash or something, and I really like that. In so many cases, you help students differentiate between this is something not to worry about, and here’s how to take care of it, and no, this is the time to call the health center, and I think that’s a really hard one for a lot of students to make that difference.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 31:53And they don’t know what they don’t know. And that was definitely something that I learned being at a health center, that you know on campus what really commonly young people know, what they know about, doesn’t even they don’t even, they don’t even know they know about it. control Some of those things are like, some was on hormone therapy most that that can increase your risk of getting a blood clot and not more than being pregnant can. Just for the record, if somebody is taking birth control, for whatever reason that they’re taking it and they have chest pain and they call a clinic, they’re going to be brought in because the chances are very low that it’s going to be a blood clot that has gone to their lung, which is called a pulmonary embolism, but that is potentially life threatening and so we, we don’t want to miss that. And, and a young person with chest pain doesn’t you know? Their first thought is not, oh gee, it could be a clot. They’re like, oh, I must have heartburn or whatever, and so some stuff is you know, just that they don’t know what they don’t know and other stuff is in there. Honestly, the most heartwarming thing to me is I can’t tell you how many students have said to me I really thought I was the only one that had this.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 33:19It’s true of public bathroom anxiety and test anxiety and the higher level the student and the more test anxiety what you shows up in college and it’s shocking to many because they never had it before. They, you know, and some of it’s because maybe they went to a school that was small enough or whatever, where they had all essay tests, and now they’re at a bigger school where it’s multiple choice, which sounds easier to parents. But it’s not easier if you’re used to writing essays because you can overthink all of that stuff, and so it’s not at all uncommon to get really significant test anxiety. One in five one in five college students gets significant test anxiety that will actually affect their grades.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 34:15So talking about that, and then you know that’s something that kids can read and be like oh my gosh, I’m not the only one. And here’s the steps I can take, and you know. And here’s when I need to get help from a doctor, and here’s what I need to get help from from the learning center, and so, yeah, I tried to have that in there and this is not. I mean, there’s some type A people headed to college or their parents who are going to sit down and read this book cover to cover. I would not, and I’m type A.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 34:44I love this book.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 34:46OK, OK, Thank you, I’m glad you did, but I meant it as as sit down and flip through and read what’s you know, read what you’re concerned about, and definitely it’s something that, oh my gosh, I have a sty in my eye. What am I supposed to do for that? And then you can just flip to it, because it’s literally organized head to toe, Just go to the problem, but you know. But other than that, it’s a reference book, but it’s also a prepping for college book and you know a high school student might be interested in reading about test anxiety or about I don’t know any of the extras and parents. I include things in there, like there’s a topic on tattoos, inking. They don’t say I’m going to get a tattoo, I’m going to get ink right. So inking is very common in college students. Every family, most families, have a strong hard yes or hard no. There’s very few people who are wishy-washy on the topic, but this is an example. The kind of information I give is that there’s a lot that goes into that and here are the things you need to think about. And it’s not what you expect. It’s not that, oh my gosh. Most of these get infected Because you know what they don’t. Even when they get infected they do pretty well. It’s pretty rare that there’s a serious infection from a tattoo, but there’s a lot of things to consider and there’s size, shape, location. If you’re getting Chinese characters, you need at least three native speakers to tell you what they think it says. You’d be amazed. You’d be amazed. I cannot even tell you. Even in my private practice before I had so many adults be like yeah, I thought this said such and such, but it really says such and such and that’s true, even if it’s just like in Spanish, you know, or which. Around here most people are bilingual, but you know it’s and you have to think about do you want it where you look down and you see it as a reminder, or do you want it where the person walking up to you sees it? And do you want it somewhere that can be shown in business clothing or not? It depends what career you’re going into, whether or not that’s acceptable and encouraged or completely frowned upon. A friend of mine who’s a dermatologist he always jokes that, with very colorful language in fact, but he jokes that he absolutely freaking loves tattoos because it’s going to pay for his college tuition, him removing them, Because when people are in the military or working for the government, certain, um, fire department, different things have different uh, that they may not allow certain tattoos and so people have to get them removed later. And it’s not, um, people talk about removal so often in celebrities. Now, you know, whichever, whoever their current love is, they get inked and then they break up and then they erase it. But it’s, you know, it’s not a clean slate. Getting rid of a tattoo doesn’t mean that it’s that you know your skin is back to normal. So there’s just a lot of things to consider and I always really consider, I encourage, for example, temporary tattoos for a while, first to really figure it out, and for a lot, you know, a lot of times this just becomes a power struggle and kids turn 18 or 21 and they say I’m getting this because I can, and then they end up with something yucky that they have to. You know really wasn’t

Dr. Jill Grimes: 38:14You’re talking about things like birth control and maybe tattoos, and I know there are other things in here. It strikes me that, and maybe because I’m remembering my daughters, who are all out of college well, out of college now but there are a lot of topics in here that kids don’t necessarily want to call home and ask mom or dad’s advice. And so having this book for some of those things. I have chest pains and maybe it’s because I’m taking birth control but, I, haven’t told my family I’m taking birth control or something like that. So it’s another really good reason for students to have something like this that can just be a reference for for that. Do you find there are some topics that surprised parents? You know some of the things you that might not have occurred to them.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 40:04their own experience or their friends around them pot, as it was called back then, you know, just fell into the no big deal category and so they’re like that’s just a rite of passage and I think it’s parents are often very surprised to hear that there is such a difference. I wish there were a totally different name for the cannabis that’s out there now, because it really is a different substance, because it’s so highly concentrated with the thc and we it where it wasn’t addictive, meaning it didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms. If you stopped it. Now it is very addictive. One in six teens can get addicted and we’re seeing the link between.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 40:49As I I briefly mentioned before, there is a link between psychosis triggered by these high concentrations and if you were genetically predisposed to so, you have a family history of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder with psychotic features. If you’re already genetically wired predisposed to this, essentially having the substance in your body can trigger an early episode and sort of turn on that switch to where you get that disease earlier. I’m not saying cannabis by itself causes schizophrenia, it’s not that simple. There is a link. It’s a stronger link with younger men who use it excessively, but there is a link and from my standpoint, if somebody has any family history of those two diseases which, yes, we have treatments but they’re very challenging, particularly schizophrenia I mean, to me this would just be like that would just be a hard stop. That’s not gonna work for you. Never go there and I try not to be very black and white about never do this or never do that, but um, for me that would. That would truly be my advice if it were my kid and I had that in my family.

Vicki Nelson: 42:04So another sort of switching topics a little bit. There’s so much focus today about mental health with students at this age and I’m wondering, I mean we could probably do it, not probably, we could do an entire episode on just mental health, mental health but to at least just touch on it. Are there ways that? I guess I have two questions. One is are there ways that parents should talk to students about that before they go in terms of mental health? And then, once students are away at college, how can parents sort of, is there a way they can kind of check in reasonably about how their students doing?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 42:55So before college and I probably said this before because I’ve been saying this forever I think it’s really important to recognize how often we say the words college are going to be the best years of your life is that is just like emblazoned and bold everywhere, and it’s such a thing that we, and when parents reminisce, when we, when we take our kids to, to, uh, sporting events or whatever at a college campus, you know we’re all about all the fun, right, and so it’s. College is very associated with. This is going to be fun, it’s gonna be amazing, I’m gonna have all these new friends, it’s gonna be fabulous. And then then you get there, and then there’s days or weeks, or sometimes semesters, that are not fabulous and it is such a letdown because students feel, because of that pressure, they’re like this is as good, this is supposed to be the best years of my life. You know that’s hard.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 43:55So I just think, being aware of how often we say that, try and maybe tone that down a touch and I always say I hope it’s the best years of your life so far. I don’t want them to peak at 22. That would be drastic, that would be terrible. So you know, but even though there’s going to be great years, there’s going to be bad days or months or semesters, and so, just acknowledging that, I don’t think we need to sit them down and tell them how we sobbed our eyes out on our 18th birthday because our boyfriend broke up with us, just throwing that off, you know.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 44:28I took a random example, yeah.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 44:29Hypothetically speaking, it would have been really, really awful, but you know we don’t need to share all of that. But but just you know, just acknowledging that and and kind of moving on from that, um, in terms of checking in with your kid, I think it’s nice to FaceTime, Um, one of the best things you know to come out of the pandemic is just our ability to see each other and talk, and I don’t think you want to be FaceTiming with your kid every day. I think that that’s not. You’re not going to have any separation there. But I think, if you’re concerned about them, facetiming once a week or something and not not FaceTiming for an hour or two hour or you know this big session but I know some people have like roped their kids into you’re going to, you’re going to have family dinner with us, cause your sibling your little brother and sister miss you and so let’s all have family dinner.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 45:26That’s not. That’s not really letting that kid move forward. But I think because when you look at your kid you know if they’ve showered. That’s not really letting that kid move forward, but I think because when you look at your kid, you know if they’ve showered in the past three days. If you’re really worried about them, the danger signs are where kids are basically not leaving their room, hygiene goes to heck in a handbasket, they’re not showering, not brushing their teeth, they just you know. Those are very concerning signs. So it’s helpful if you’re concerned.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 46:00It’s helpful to maybe just set eyeballs, but asking things and talking ahead of time. And talking ahead of time. I actually think Elizabeth going to sweat, pray, play, study. He’s got like six things. But it’s great because they want to be thinking of time before they go. What communities? Because they want to be thinking ahead of time before they go, what communities are they going to join? And I talk about this.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 46:38This is a way to prevent homesickness and I think it’s really important to, right off the top, know before you even get there, because you’ve looked on the website and you’ve seen what everything is. Pick three unrelated clubs to join, and that’s aside from rushing for a sorority or frat they don’t call it rushing anymore recruitment. Aside from doing recruitment, aside from trying out for the elite dance team. It has to be things that you can just join, so that you can join them and make it as diverse as possible, because you’re going to meet really different people and you don’t know who you’re, who you’re going to click with and most of the time, very often, who you click with the first week, which may be your roommate or may not, um, may not be who you end up even liking at the end of the semester. So you know it’s really. It’s it’s to set yourself up for success.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 47:32Encourage your kid to look for those three different kinds of things maybe a volunteering thing, maybe a fun thing, service thing, political, if they’re into that. You know there’s. There’s so many different opportunities on college campuses. Now I’m jealous of the two that have their circus. I know University of. I’m going to get it wrong. I think it’s Florida State that has the circus and there’s one other one. They actually have a circus on campus. Yeah, it is Florida State. And then there’s one other that I can’t remember at the moment. But look for the cool things that you’re not going to get to do anywhere else.

Vicki Nelson: 48:10Yeah, and when your kid doesn’t have time to talk to you because they’re so busy going from this activity to this activity, as long as studying is somewhere, that’s a good sign.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 48:24That’s a great sign.

Vicki Nelson: 48:27We could go on and on, but we can’t. So we do want to remind everybody that your book is the ultimate college student health handbook, your guide to everything from hangovers to homesickness, by dr jill grimes and those at daughter nicole grimes, just saying okay, keeping it all in the family appreciate me plugging my own daughter.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 48:53I’m so proud.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 48:54I think the illustrations are adorable.

Vicki Nelson: 48:56They are they really are fun and kids will connect with them. And then just one last question. Well, two, because one is going to be how can people find you and get in touch with you? But before that, besides your book, which every student should take to college with them, and every parent should get to keep it home.

Vicki Nelson: 49:15Yes, yeah, and I’ve had it for a while and I have been known to open it up and say what does that mean? What do I do when I have to strap? What do I? So you know, you can say you have it because you want to have it, because your student has it, but really it can become everybody’s.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 49:38My mom friends tell me that they just they grab that first now, before they call me. They’re like I’m embarrassed, I know you’re going to, yeah.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 49:45I did write the book, yeah.

Vicki Nelson: 49:47So those mom friends, do you have other any other one or two books that you would recommend if you have a student heading off to college that people look at?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 49:57Yes, I do, and I sent you because when you y’all asked me that ahead of time and I immediately had a list.

Vicki Nelson: 50:04Oh, well, we’ll put that in the show notes.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 50:06for sure I’ll have you in the show notes. But, but one, I’ll have you in the show notes, but one, especially this. I have it right behind me, I’m just going to grab it. I think this is really important and this’s the story told by the mom about two of her four sons, nick and Jack Savage, who, who sadly died on the same night, and I think it’s very and these are, you know, great kids, hockey players, but I think I think it’s a really powerful story to read in open discussion with your kids about. So, especially if you have the risk-seeking child which I’m not saying they were I’m just like to open up these discussions. I think that is a great one. Obviously, the Naked Roommate has been bestseller for years and has great information and um, so many different ones. Um, for, for parents who are concerned about a child who may have anxiety or depression, I think the campus cure by psychiatrist mar, psychiatrist Marsha Morris, is very good. And so you got I’ll, that’s all right, we’ve got your list.

Vicki Nelson: 51:39We’ll put your list in the show notes and people can have the whole thing. So if people would like to follow up or get in touch with you or follow you or whatever, what are the best places for them to do that?

Dr. Jill Grimes: 51:54So across social media I’m generally Jill Grimes MD, so my website’s jillgrimesmdcom On Instagram. I’m jillgrimesmd. On Facebook. I’m really not very active. I do have a book page, so it’s the title of the book, the Ultimate College Student Health Handbook, which I do have a book page, so the it’s the title of the book, the ultimate college student health handbook, which I know is a mouthful Um, and then I am the college doc on, so the Tik TOK college doc, and I am kind of kind of migrate also into YouTube.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 52:27So, uh, I mean, they’re also as the college doc Okay doc okay, in her spare time she’ll go do that yeah it’s on the list, but that’s a long list um and if you’re and if you’re playing this.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 52:46the current edition is blue with gold writing on it. Amazon lists it. It’s literally the exact same price as the second edition and obviously I mean I’m proud of all three editions, but the reason there’s a new edition is because we put new information in it. So I want to encourage people to get the newest edition.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 53:06Yeah, plus it’s got extra sections. Well, yeah.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 53:09And oh, oh and also the whole reason I started making writing this book was that I used to make college first aid kits as a high school graduation, and there’s all the instructions on how to do that, all the ingredients you want to include and cheat notes for when to use what. That’s in the bonus section of this book.

Vicki Nelson: 53:28Perfect thing to send your student off to college with the book and the first aid kit, and they’re going to be set Well. Jill Grimes, thank you for coming and talking to us again. Elizabeth, do you have any last words?

Elizabeth Hamblet: 53:47I can’t encourage parents strongly enough to buy this book again. One copy for home, one copy to send for you to your student. Um, I think, um, it’s a great graduation gift to give. So you get them, you know, a DoorDash certificate so they can get some pizza. Um, and also the college student health book.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 54:08And you can put the gift card in the chapter that you want them to read.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 54:14That’s why she’s a marketing genius and I’m not, actually, I can’t tell you.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 54:19I’ve had so many parents say that and actually with the that I had. no idea who they were on Amazon on their review. They’re like I put a $20 bill in each section.

Elizabeth Hamblet: 54:30tell I’ve I’ve I’ve I’ve all sorts of ways to lead those horses to water, right.

Vicki Nelson: 54:36Thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom with us, and we will be this, will this will be out there for everybody to listen to. And thanks again, so we’ll see you next time.

Dr. Jill Grimes: 54:52All right, thank you so much.